I have a million different kinds of friendships throughout my 16 years on the planet. And I don’t know whether or not that qualifies me to give you advice on how to depict the real ones and the fake ones but I’m going to anyway!
Forming friendships is something I’ve struggled with, revelled in, cried over, laughed about and sometimes done without even realising it! I have had loads of different friends, with completely different personalities; some I have maintained a strong bond with right up to today, others I have let fade away, and other friendships have ended abruptly.
But let’s start from the beginning…
I was enrolled in a tiny primary school in the middle of the countryside, which meant that there weren’t a lot of friends available. There were only six other girls in my class. That and the fact that I was as terribly shy, meant that I was mainly friends with one girl. She and I have never spoken since the day we parted ways, to go to our separate secondary schools. It’s ironic that one of the girls I was only partly friends with ended up being the only girl I talked to and met up with (even if it was only a few times) after leaving primary school. But primary school friendships are often shallow, seeing as most of us haven’t really discovered our own personality yet. So it’s not strange that none of them have lasted.
As I progressed through secondary school, I have had countless different best friends, but thankfully have been blessed with two I finally can be fully myself with, have fun with, being serious with and hopefully will be friends with until I’m old.
One thing I have learnt from numerous friendships, is that your friends can influence you in extremely negative ways, perhaps without you even realising it. They can shape you into someone that’s far from the real you. Especially when you’re at such a vulnerable age as a young teenager. If you suddenly find yourself doing things that aren’t you, or you’re stuck in a place in your life that you don’t want to be, look around the friendships you have. If you’re surrounded by negative people, you’re doing to be constantly stuck in a depressing mindset. I know it can be scary cutting friendships away, but you have to put your mental health first. I promise, it will end up alright!
Recently I have lost a friend that has been so close to me for years. The only real reason being that we have both changed. It was hard for me to let go of this friendship at first; I kept remembering all the happy memories we had. But the person she is now, isn’t the person in those memories. I have accepted that now. I don’t regret our friendship; in fact, I’m so grateful that it existed. And although we don’t talk anymore, I know if she ever needed me I would be there for her. But for now, we have gone our separate ways and I’m at peace with that fact.
One of my best friends today, I have only been friends with for two and a half years, yet our bond is stronger than most friendships I have had for years! Although she may not ever read this, I am so grateful for all the laughter we have shared over things no one else would understand; for the late hours into the nights we have talked about the things that worry us; for simply being there for me. She so talented and if anyone talked to her for five minutes they would know she was destined for great things. I am so proud to be her friend, and I know that we will still be going to mass together when we’re 70 and meeting up for tea in our favourite cafes.
I feel like sometimes minor disagreements can come between friends, but after a long talk with my amazing mother one night, I realised that we just needed a little bonding time together away from the worries of school life. If you ever feel a friendship that’s so important to you, begin to slip, take a step back with them; do something as simple as seeing a movie or meeting up for dinner together and you will see your friendship strengthen and flourish.
My friendship with the beautiful, talented and amazing Tea and a Read started unsteadily. We fell out and didn’t talk for years before forming the strong friendship we have today. Hers is a friendship that I am grateful for everyday; our personalities click perfectly. She has inspired me in ways she will never know, and we have infiltrated our friendship into our creation; Your World. To me, she feels like a sister. We have stayed at each other’s houses for four or five days in a row and felt completely at home.
It still amazes me how there are 7 billion people in the world and I have found two perfect best friends.