How to be confident
Confidence is something I've struggled with for most my life. And I know I'm not alone in sharing this. How can I be when every day we have all these picture-perfect, stick thin, beautiful girls thrust in our faces from every angle of social media? I'm no expert on self-confidence, but I've come a long way and hopefully this blog will help you on that long way, or even just help you take the first step.
I remember ever since I was in primary school, I never felt as pretty or as liked as any of the other girls in my class. Even at the age of nine or ten I was comparing myself to others; my hair doesn't look as nice as theirs or I can't talk to new people as easily as them. And this poor self image certainly didn't improve as I entered secondary school and the pressures of weight and boys started to kick in. Adding that to the fact that I only knew one girl in this scary new school (and I'd only met her once), I wasn't finding it very easy to fit in. As I passed through the months and years I became weighed down by my constant comparisons of myself to others. Everyone just seemed so much happier than me, prettier than me, thinner than me, more popular than me. It suffocated me. I had a constant voice in the back of mind telling I wasn't good enough. I tried so hard every day to better myself, but this ended up being more harmful than ever. As weird as it sounds, I sub-consciously started studying and imitating the people around me. I tried to copy the way other girls my age could so easily make friends, talk to boys and how they did their makeup and hair so nice. Even the way they could look in the mirror and be so confident with their reflection. For a few months I even tried These crazy diets But the feelings of self loathing and lack of confidence always came back.
So one summer I decided to change.
Trying to be like other people wasn't working.
I worked so hard on myself that summer and not in the form of changing my appearance on outside or the inside- that wasn't the problem. I worked hard on letting myself be. Not hating the way my thighs expanded when I sat down or how I got so nervous while trying to make friends. Not allowing those negative, destructive thoughts to take control of me. Not feeling disgusting and out of place when I looked in the mirror. I started to learn to love myself.
And the following year at school I was never happier. I had so many more new friends and the ones I already had, I became close than ever to. Of couRse, Sometimes I often still feel inferior and not just as good as others, but I've learnt not to dwell on those feelings. There's no time to waste on futile thoughts when there's so much beauty to be experienced in the world.
It's surprising how different life can look when you have a change of perspective. Although it may not seem so, confidence is an acquired skill, no one is born with it.